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Being Resilient in Difficult Times

Melissa Duve, Shelter Director

Although we don’t realize it, we access our resilient core daily such as when we lose our keys or cell phone or when our alarm doesn’t go off, or when we the washing machine breaks down, or we get lost driving to new destinations. Each day is filled with these types of incidents and each day is filled in our resiliency. Yet these are things we usually don’t give a second thought to we just cope.

Being resilient in this time can be very challenging for many of us even more challenging being a domestic violence victim. As victims of sexual assault and domestic violence, we find the resilient side in us every time to push on through to make life as normal as we can for ourselves and our loved ones. In these times we may not know we have the resiliency in us but we all do.

The Truth about Resiliency

· Resiliency is not something you either have or don’t have. Everyone has the capacity for resiliency.

· Resiliency dose not develop from internal traits only. Resiliency develops from an interaction between individual and environmental factors.

· Gifts emerge from the experiences of adversity (such as greater compassion, life perception and savoring, healthy re-prioritization, empathy and a desire to be of services, a stronger spirituality, and self-esteem from living through a difficulty.

· You won’t return to “normal” as before this great adversity, but you can and will develop a new normal that includes a new way of looking at yourself, at your life, and at the world.

What I have found most helpful in this difficult time is to find new ways to practice self-care. Take time out to focus on the good things and find ways to overcome these hard times to become more resilient. If you need someone to talk to make sure you reach out, a listen ear can help so much in times like these.


The Resiliency Workbook by Nan Henderson M.S.W.

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